how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
