i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize