super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize