So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
