I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
