My hand turned me down
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
