Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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