unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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