good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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