very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
