I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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