On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
