But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
