I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
