I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
