Just fell off a train. Bad.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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