are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
