Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

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(602): View more from Arizona

but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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(510): View more from California

called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

(1-510): View more from California

you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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(925): View more from California

I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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(239): View more from Florida

At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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(817): View more from Texas

so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.

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(619): View more from California

He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.

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