out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
