i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
