Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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