Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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