my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
