We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Randomize
