Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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