I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
