I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
