I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
