big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
