FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize