Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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