Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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