jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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