i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize