you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
