I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
