Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
