I hate your face
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Boobs speak an international language.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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