when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i came on her dog
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize