You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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