just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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