I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
