you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
