sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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