omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
