Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
