Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
