Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
