I don't usually arrange sex via text message
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
