I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
