his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
