Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
