well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
