you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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