This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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