i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
