i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
