NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
