hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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