Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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