So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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