its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize