Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
