My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
