Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
