69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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