My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
