I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
