Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
