Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
