Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
